I haven’t posted in what seems like ages. I’ve been falling behind, but I’m thinking about returning. Recently I’ve come to an understanding of the fact that I’m somewhat of a complicated person, so it’s hard for others to understand me sometimes. However, it upsets me that even I can’t understand myself. I’ve decided that I want to find myself, but I’m not exactly sure how to or where to even start. I thought maybe separating myself from the outside world for a few days would give me time and space to think, but I didn’t last half a day. I couldn’t help but keep in touch with my closest friends via texts, phone calls, IMs, etc. This kind of defeats the purpose though. I was hoping to get rid of outside influences for a few days, but I can’t help but keep in touch with friends. Instead of taking myself away from society temporarily, I’m going to try to make it a daily task of taking notice of small pieces of myself and discovering how it relates to who I am as a full person. Today I have gone back into my “darkness.” I have rediscovered one of my favorite bands, Three Days Grace. It’s interesting to think that yesterday I was enjoying Atmosphere and Murs, which isn’t very similar to Three Days Grace. However, I’ve always enjoyed Three Days Grace and I think that it’s more me than the other two are. I think I just adapted to what my friends and the people around me enjoyed. So today I decided to go back to what I discovered for myself. Hopefully this is a good start to my new quest.
Peace,
Jen